Looking For A Future: Jane’s Story

Tomorrow I take my final exam for my first semester of nursing school.

I am one day away from finishing the first leg of something I almost never started. I am also one day away from maintaining a 4.0 GPA. Instructors, friends, classmates, and my therapist all say they knew I could do it.

Notes From a Homeschooler: Michelle Hill’s Story, Part Two

“I often wonder how homeschooling has shaped me, and who I would be if I didn’t have such an unusual upbringing.”

When Siblings Become Swords: Trista’s Story

“The patriarchy damages its victims in many ways. In my case, it removed the joy of having those I call family.”

I Am Learning To Love Myself: Mara’s Story, Part Two

“Almost all the girls in my family or in my best friend’s family have struggled with anorexia or bulimia at some point in time.”

From Hell to Heroin to Here: Jezebel’s Story

“When I was shooting up heroin and stripping, I didn’t care about my life. I would overdose or get beat up and it didn’t matter to me. I felt like I was a fuckup and that my life wasn’t worth living. In rehab I did the hard work of processing everything that had happened with my family, and as awful as it was, I’m a more whole person for all that.”

Sometimes I Am Afraid Of Myself: Lana Hobbs

“I could never be good enough, godly enough / To gain my parents approval, / But earning a spanking was too easy, I didn’t have to try. / Now I punish myself / for things not my fault.”

To The Daughters of Sceva: R.L. Stollar

“Somewhere I went blind in the conversation — / somewhere between the epidermis / and the angels — / somewhere my stomach lost its way / amidst the tangles of a prayer and an / agony, an anger, and all I hate. / Here is a scar; there, the bruise. / This is the air we breathe.”

Finding A Reason To Wake Up: Warbler

“When you find a reason to get up every morning, you will not want pain any more. I remember taking a shower and screaming into the gushing water, because that was the only place they couldn’t hear me. It eats you up inside and I know you want to be free.”

Hard Bones, Electric Wire: April

“These bones are too hard. / I can’t break them. /I can’t feel my heart all the way behind them. / If I scratched off my skin, / I could hold these little blue veins in my wrists.”

My Body Took My Soul’s Pain: Bailey

“I fought with my therapist, arguing that my coping mechanism didn’t hurt anyone else and didn’t cause permanent damage. Why was my choice irrational and unhealthy, but it’s fine for parents to crush their children’s souls? Plus, what the hell should I do instead?”