This was one very large part of my struggle, throughout our ATI years. Anything I did, I did because I wanted to, not because I had to, according to my parents. And yet, I did almost everything because I had to, not because I wanted to.
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Hiding behind the Bible is how abusers like to prey.
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When we were kids she and Terry drilled us on how to argue religious points with him.
We regurgitated the dogma on topics such as Calvinism, baptism, and Old Testament law that was seared in our hearts
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Editorial note: Shade Ardent blogs at The Unspared Rod. This story is reprinted with permission. my car isn’t even full, it didn’t take that much time to pack my clothes. river stares from the window upstairs. she didn’t want to say goodbye. everyone else is busy with their lives. no one looks up as i walk by. ‘Hurry up, Shade’. i turn to
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As a summary: The power dynamic in the family is driven by your fear, fear that you will lose control. If you made a genuine effort to give Mom freedom to be an independent entity, I think you would discover your vision for family education is sub-optimal.
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“Because my parents still conceptualize our relationship as that of a parent-child, when I assert myself, it creates conflict. They seem to believe this conflict is the result of my sinful lifestyle. As long as they cannot even understand why what they do is so hurtful, they have no positive impact on my life.”
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“My parents were convinced that Gothardism held the solution to my issues. If religious options and doctrines were a grocery store, my parents plopped down on the Gothard Aisle and expected me to also enjoy their strict diet of Gothardism. Instead, the doctrines on spiritual warfare, the Umbrella of Authority, and Strongholds increased my anxieties – sending me into a state of hyper-vigilance at night as I waited for the demons.”
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“Did you know that demons can be sexually transmitted? That many Vietnam veterans’ problems are caused by demons picked up from prostitutes? That a person can be ‘demonized’ through listening to music, watching TV, or by playing Dungeons & Dragons? Welcome to the world of Dr. James Logan, ‘the demon whisperer’, ‘the Stephen King of ATI’, pastor, adviser to missionaries, and conservative fundamentalist exorcist.”
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“It is time for Homeschoolers Anonymous to talk about Bill Gothard. It is time to speak up about Gothard, the Institute for Basic Life Principles (IBLP), and Gothard’s homeschooling cult, the Advanced Training Institute (ATI). I have been blown away by the response to my initial discussion among our alumni community. People are excited to tell their ATI stories.”
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Homeschoolers Anonymous 