“I first discovered porn in the library. By ‘porn,’ though I don’t mean porn porn. I mean porn like Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart meant porn: ‘you know it when you see it.’ Well, I saw it, and I knew it.”
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“As Christians, we were always told that having sex before marriage would ruin our sex lives once we got married. So, when Matt and I finally gave in to our sexual urges three years later, we felt immense guilt.”
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“I was fourteen when I first realized there was a big secret to be learned. My parents would speak in whispers about people. They would drop their voices when explaining something briefly and mysteriously. They would turn down the volume and stand in front of the TV screen during movie time.”
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“I had never heard the word ‘consent’ before I was married. I wasn’t really taught much of the concept either. Being a child limits your choices and autonomy as it is, growing up fundamentalist Christian limits them even more.”
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“I was told that I was responsible if a boy around me ‘stumbled’ and had an ‘impure thought.’ That’s a lot of pressure and shame to put on a child. Now, as an adult, I’m having to teach myself to celebrate my sexuality and not shame myself in it. It’s a slow learning process.”
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“As I reflect on my experience with sex education, there are probably 5 or 6 stories I could write, but they don’t all fit together into one narrative. I learned about sex in little bits and pieces, and got strange mixed messages that never taught me about consent or the possibility of pleasure.”
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“My first experience with sexual education was that American Girl book, ‘The Care and Keeping of You.’ My mom stapled together the pages that showed how to put in a tampon, because the illustration shows a girl’s vulva.”
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“Here are ten things that are more important to teach than abstinence.”
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“Today I decided to write bluntly about how to enjoy sex as a woman, particularly as a woman raised in the Quiverfull/Christian patriarchy homeschooling movement.”
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“I grew up in an almost alternate universe, where courtship methods of the Victorian era were popular and no one spoke of sex except in hushed or negative tones. Sex to Christian homeschoolers was like Voldemort to wizards — That Which Shall Not Be Named.”
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Homeschoolers Anonymous 