In Their World, But Not Of It — My Years on the Periphery of ATI: Giselle’s Story

“We were never really one of ‘those families.’ I felt out of place at the annual conferences because we only had two kids. We might even put on shorts and watch TV when we got back to the hotel room. We had a car, not a 15-passenger van.”

Nightmare in Navy and White — Experiencing the Dark Side of ATI: Selena’s Story, Part Three

“At 16 years old, I left ATI. I was never my mother’s daughter again. They left the cult shortly thereafter, reluctant and angry that I had ruined their happiness again. I would never outlive the title of black sheep. I was able to tell my mother some of what happened before she passed away recently, but it will never truly be resolved.”

Bread, Stones, and Bad Fruit: Jeri Lofland’s Story

“My parents had only been married five years when they attended their first Youth Conflicts seminar: 40 hours of lectures over six days. Living in a new city with three preschoolers but few friends, they were lonely, stressed, and probably sleep-deprived. They were eager to be ‘real’ Christians.”

Finding Freedom from My Demons: Nicholas Ducote’s Story, Part Three

“Because my parents still conceptualize our relationship as that of a parent-child, when I assert myself, it creates conflict. They seem to believe this conflict is the result of my sinful lifestyle. As long as they cannot even understand why what they do is so hurtful, they have no positive impact on my life.”

The Good Girl: Atarah’s Story

“Their excitement was palpable, and I still remember it, as a four year old. As a child you are unaware of how your parent’s decisions affect you. You just go with it. You trust, and you know nothing else. Thus begins my journey through Gothardism that spanned over 20 years.”

Nightmare in Navy and White — Experiencing the Dark Side of ATI: Selena’s Story, Part Two

“I don’t feel very comfortable going into too much detail, as this time period is one of the more difficult for me to cope with. I will simply say that I was put into the LIT program, held captive for two years against my will, and systematically tortured and brainwashed.”

Thoughts From a Regretful But Healing ATI Mom

“I’ve thought about writing ever since I stumbled upon this site. I am going to be short, although I could share my thoughts and reflections for hours. I am a college educated capable mom of 58 who has seen my life, and the life of my children, turned upside down as a result of, at least in part, our years in ATI.”

Finding Freedom from My Demons: Nicholas Ducote’s Story, Part Two

“My parents were convinced that Gothardism held the solution to my issues. If religious options and doctrines were a grocery store, my parents plopped down on the Gothard Aisle and expected me to also enjoy their strict diet of Gothardism. Instead, the doctrines on spiritual warfare, the Umbrella of Authority, and Strongholds increased my anxieties – sending me into a state of hyper-vigilance at night as I waited for the demons.”

Seeing Shades of Blue: Holly’s Story, Part Two

“The seats were angled upwards, and there was a mezzanine, so we must have been in a theatre. We were a sea of navy and white, modestly dressed young ladies, with long hair and bright eyes. I can’t remember who spoke first, but Gothard was the main speaker of the afternoon.”

Memories from Bill Gothard’s Indianapolis Training Center: Latebloomer’s Story

“In my early 20s, I had my first experience living away from home. It was a Really Big Deal. Me — a weak, vulnerable, easily-decieved woman, according to the teachings of my family’s pastor Reb Bradley — out on my own, flying to a faraway state. I was going to spend a few months living and studying music at Bill Gothard’s Indianapolis Training Center.”