On Forgiveness

“We deserve to be angry. To be filled with rage. To not let abusers off the hook.”

I Am Learning To Love Myself: Mara’s Story, Part Five

“Now I truly am learning who I am. I am learning my limitations and boundaries. I am learning how to love without pity. I am learning how to trust people that love me.”

“Everyone is Forgiving”: Bill Gothard’s Bold-Faced Lies

“Former IBLP staff members take issue with Bill Gothard’s version of the facts. Gothard has made efforts to contact them, they say, and ‘grateful’ was not a word that came to mind.”

Forgiveness and Power

“Over the course of my life I have been instructed to forgive so many times. Ironically, the people who were telling me to forgive were also the people who spent a good deal of time telling me that in reality there was nothing to forgive, or that no wrong doing had occurred.”

This Road I’ve Traveled

“I could never do this. I could never put the fake smile on and pretend that I hadn’t watched my dad throw the breakfast dishes in the sink that morning because someone dared to speak back to him. I couldn’t stand by and watch my siblings suffer while no one knew what happened behind the doors of my family’s home.”

Feeling Empathy for Christian Patriarchy Parents and Leaders

“The more adults I talk to or learn from who are walkaways from the Quiverfull and Christian patriarchy stuff, or even ostensible leaders or former leaders within it, the more I see them as not abusers and power-grabbers per se, but also victims. They often had harsh upbringings filled with authoritarianism and loss or were constantly uprooted, never knowing what to expect next.”

The Stones You Cast, The Tables You Built

“That one verse about casting stones, that verse of grace and freedom, it is twisted into the heaviest gag order by the very Pharisees it was meant to condemn. We saw this last week when Doug Phillips resigned due to an affair. It took but a few hours before John 8 started dropping like the bass in a dubstep song.”

Have I Forgiven Them?: Katharine’s Story

“My parents have apologized for things that never bothered me — criticizing me too much, fighting too much. I know they love me, but they will never see that their insistence on those rigid Christian values and their insular homeschooling, their need to shelter us, are the things that have harmed. They did not cause my little sister to become suicidal, but like a mushroom grows best in moisture and the dark, the conditions were there.”

Let The Chips Fall Where They May: Jonah’s Story

“There were things that affected me that I didn’t realize until I started thinking long and hard about them. Whether you plan on sharing it or not, I recommend you write out your story. Detail it, tell it to yourself. You may not realize how many things about yourself you never realized.”