Parenting With Fear: Why I Don’t Agree With It

“My dad created the illusion of a well disciplined, well put together family, but under it all was this idea that the kids were only there to be seen not heard, and there was no room for children to just be children. I grew up understanding that children were evil and only capable of disobeying and had to be trained fiercely.”

Letter to Our Parents

“One major theme going on in our conversations right now is an overwhelming frustration that we cannot talk to our parents. We cannot be real with you.We want a relationship but don’t know how to get past the mental and emotional walls you have put up to protect yourself, the denial that your choices for us caused pain.”

A Thank You Note

“I’ve often talked about the culture I grew up, my parents’ various toxic teachings and attitudes, and you may get the impression that my childhood was all bad all the time. That’s not even close to accurate. Today I was thinking about the things I have to thank my parents for.”

Reaching the Other Side: Deanna Stollar’s Thoughts

“We all know how ridiculous we homeschooling parents can be at times, but I shudder when realizing how dark and cruel some homes can be where instead safety and love should exist. It sometimes overwhelms me to think of the kind of education taking place in such homes, and often I don’t want to even read about them.”

Snake Oil Homeschooling: The False Promises of Fear and Control

“Good, well-meaning Christian parents want their children to thrive in good Christian ways. Rules or formulas give a sense of security. But that desire for security goes haywire when coupled with your worst nightmares, when those nightmares lead you into artificial and stagnant legalism with the false hope of perfect kids.”

Love Misapplied: A Response to Chris Jeub

“I grew up hearing about Chris Jeub. He was a big name in NCFCA homeschool debate circles, and while I never met him I did use the evidence briefs he put out. The Jeubs had 16 kids and were deep into the patriarchal and controlling ideas at the heart of the most conservative strains of the Christian homeschooling movement.”

Raising Aria Rose: Christopher L. Stollar’s Thoughts

“Even before our daughter was born, people were telling us how to raise her. Some said we should home school. Others advocated for public school. Then there were those who railed against day care. And vaccines. And infant formula. To be fair, these people probably only wanted the best for our child, Aria Rose. But my wife and I started to see a dangerous pattern in this type of advice.”

Then Why Didn’t You Tell Us That, Mom?

“Once homeschool parents enter the Christian homeschool subculture, if they don’t vocally and openly condemn, question, or contradict what that subculture teaches, their children will assume that the ideas and ideals of that subculture are approved—something they should listen to, take seriously, and imbibe. I’ve talked to more than my fair share of homeschool graduates who grew up in this culture and took to heart things they later found out their parents never even realized they were learning.”

When Mennonite Stories Are Your Only Literature: Sean-Allen Parfitt’s Story

“The only reading material we had were story books published or sold by the conservative Mennonite publishing house Rod and Staff. I generally enjoyed them, but there was a very religious/indoctrinating theme in many of them. In the last few years I lived at home, I saw the Mennonite teachings from these books make a serious impact on my mother and brothers.”

Learning To Leave My Son With Others

“I have been able to overcome my deeply ingrained childhood perceptions for myself, and feel like a functioning and happy member of the big outside world. However, I am unexpectedly having to go through the same process again, now that I am in the role of a mother. All the progress I made for myself, I am having to do again, this time for my son.”