Facing Our Fears: How the Voices of Homeschool Alumni Can Help Homeschooling

facing our fears coverFacing Our Fears: How the Voices of Homeschool Alumni Can Help Homeschooling was originally prepared by R.L. Stollar, Executive Director of Homeschool Alumni Reaching Out (HARO) for the 2014 Great Homeschool Convention in Ontario, California. HARO’s mission is to advocate for the well-being of homeschool students and improve homeschooling communities through awareness, peer support, and resource development.

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To view and/or download a PDF of Facing Our Fears, click here.



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  • Thank you. I’ve been a homeschool mom for the last 10+ years. I did not grow up Christian, so all that I saw and heard at the homeschool conventions I went to intrigued me and led me along some wrong paths. What I’ve been seeing in the past few years among homeschoolers at my church, and from the leadership at my church, has been positive in the respect that they’re telling people and believing that homeschooling will not ensure your child becomes a Christian, that it is not “better” than other forms of education, but it is a choice.

    I think there has been a lot of chatter online since the fall of Doug Phillips and Bill Gothard that has been positive to consider these things and the whole control factor (we’re not really in control and we should really work for what’s best for our children). We never bought into either viewpoint of those two, but were greatly influenced by some of the other teachings. I hope there’s more dialogue in the future and a change in the homeschool community that is more open to what’s real and true, and better ways to parent and lead our children, however they are educated. I’ve seen a divide in the homeschool magazines in the past few years as well, along the lines of (1) homeschool is the only/best choice, or (2) grace in whatever decision the parents make.

    Your article, as well as Darcysheartstrings response to the 10 list that was going around in the past few days, has led to some good conversations with my homeschooled daughter. Thankfully, she’s happy that she’s homeschooling and likes how things are going, even though she doesn’t enjoy all the schoolwork.

    I know you and others get a lot of flack in the responses when you post things that are seen as an attack on homeschooling, but many parents read these things and take them to heart and discuss them with their spouses and children. I think the articles and dialogue are doing good.

    I would also like to tell you that the first time I starting hearing, reading, or having conversations about things that I thought were an attack on homeschooling that I initially reacted as if I were personally threatened. I was in shock because it was the antithesis to what I had read and been taught and firmly believed about homeschooling being such a great thing. It took time to really consider what was being said and for my thinking to be changed on the matter without being offended. I think there may be others reading blog posts and articles online who will experience that as well. I can see changes within the homeschool community around me, where people’s thinking has changed on some of these things for the better over the past 5 or more years. I hope you and others who share their stories would be encouraged by this.

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  • Hello;
    Thank you for all that you do here. I wanted to stop by and let you know that I loved this book so much that I added it to the Goodreads database and wrote a review on it both there and on my blog: https://arsamandica.wordpress.com/2015/04/20/book-review-facing-our-fears-how-the-voices-of-homeschool-alumni-can-help-homeschooling-by-r-l-stollar/

    As a homeschool alumna myself, this cause is very close to my heart and I’m happy to see that these issues are being discussed. This book is definitely the dialogue that it aims to be.

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  • francinetanya@yahoo.ca

    Thank you for writing this book. I am a counsellor/psychotherapist and see many of things you discuss in your book in several venues, including homeschool conferences where I see and hear things that greatly concern me, I have on occasion had people at church say some things to me about my profession that are both puzzling and disparaging, and this is especially concerning when I look around and see at least half a dozen people in the immediate vicinity who I know are struggling with some very serious issues. It is sad to see many misbeliefs about mental health and how to treat mental illness in the church which is supposed to be a place of safety and healing. I appreciate your book and hope and pray that many will read it.

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