When I Recanted What I Truly Believed: Krysi Kovaka’s Thoughts

When I Recanted What I Truly Believed: Krysi Kovaka’s Thoughts

I was one of those renegades who affixed my signature (albeit electronically) to the Great BJU Protest of 2009.  The reasoning behind this protest is listed in a prior post so I won’t go into the logic of it all.  Suffice it to say, when it was announced that Nats 2009 would be held at Bob Jones University, there were quite a few dissenters; BJU is known for having a proud tradition of racism (among other things.)

When several NCFCA officials found out about the protest, there was a bit of a backlash. For me, this meant that I received an ominous email from Teresa Moon [of CFC/ICC] telling me that I should extricate myself from the protest.  My mother was also involved, and she made it very clear that I needed to remove my name from the protest if I wanted to attend the tournament.  Simply removing my name from the apology wasn’t sufficient though – Mrs. Moon emailed my mother and encouraged her to persuade me to write the following letter:

*****

Dear NCFCA board,

I’m writing to you under the most exigent of circumstances; I’m writing to you concerning my recent participation in the Facebook group protesting the location of Nationals 2009.  After much contemplation and lucubration I have come to the realization that my actions condoned discourteous, impertinent, and contemptuous behavior.  For this I would like to extend a full apology to the NCFCA board and Bob Jones University. 

In retrospect it occurs to me that my misdeeds were injurious not only to the NCFCA and Bob Jones University, but also to my reputation as a follower of Christ.  We read in Hebrews 13:17 that we are to, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.”  This concept of respect for authority is further addressed in I Timothy 2:1-3 and Exodus 21:17. 

My conduct in no way exemplified a Christian attitude and I understand that I did a tremendous disservice to the NCFCA by participating in this Facebook group.

I take full responsibility for my delinquent actions and present myself to the NCFCA board contrite and in need of forgiveness for my transgressions towards the NCFCA board, Bob Jones University, and any other party I might have inadvertently injured with my calloused and unthinking misdeeds.  In future I hope to live up to the standards set forth in I Timothy 4:12 which reads, “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” 

I appreciate the opportunity to heed correction and guidance as outlined in Proverbs 15:32, “He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.”

Please accept my apology for my actions.

Sincerely,

Kristen Alyse Kovaka

*****

I remember when I was told I needed to write the letter. I was furious.

I had spent years learning argumentation and how to think for myself, and when a situation occurred where I felt I needed to use those skills, I was reprimanded. I did my best to make sure my disdain and insincerity was evident in my apology, but that did little to make me less angry.  I felt stifled and controlled — and this from a community that allegedly encouraged free thinkers.